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Self-Esteem: An Individual Journey

What is self-esteem? How do we get it? And most importantly, how do we maintain it? These questions lie at the heart of so many young people’s concerns as they look ahead and attempt not only to know who they are, but to like who they are.

In my personal journey toward self-esteem, years of unlearning and unbecoming, I made a radical shift. I determined that I would stop using my friends, family, society, hobbies, job, title, schooling, etc. as sources of self-esteem. Instead, the things I chose to do for myself would be for my enjoyment, my pride, and my passions. No longer did I need anyone’s approval because I had harnessed a new way from which to see myself. 

Allow me to explain.

Our pursuits in life should not ultimately determine our self-esteem. That course makes us vulnerable. We pursue a lot of things our lifetime and we will inevitably both succeed and fail. The only thing that can make a person invulnerable to a fluctuating or low self-esteem is unconditional self-love. 

For me, the question at the heart of building self-esteem is actually, how to build self-love. And my answer is self-care. Essentially, good self-esteem is developed once we recognize our worth and honor it through self-care. Viewing ourselves through a compassionate lens will most certainly contribute to how we choose to love ourselves. And the best part is that nowhere in that journey are we reliant on anyone or anything else.

Low self-esteem, the kind that is so often wrapped up in how others perceive us or whether or not we won or lost, is a perpetuating negative cycle. If you believe you are not good enough, it is highly likely that that belief will come true. 

Consequently, my dear readers, I have an exercise for you. I want you to challenge yourself to intentionally break your negative loop and create your own new positive one.

Rate your self-esteem using a scale from 1 (low) – 10 (high) each and every day for the next month. Perform one small act of self-care daily and engage in this act while reciting your own statement of unconditional positive regard. At the end of the month, compare your self-esteem from the beginning to the end. 

You have the power, internally, to grow your self-esteem. You do not need external aspects of your life to create it for you. Once you recognize that you are the architect of your sense of self, other people’s opinions and beliefs will not impact your self-esteem structure. 

Are you ready to reform your self-esteem using only yourself?

If you are interested in further working to build your self-esteem, learn more about our MindBody Therapy program, led by Kristen.