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Facing Your Shadows

As new age spiritualism continues to be on the rise, you may have heard the mysterious term: Shadow Work, and may be curious about what it means to get in touch with your shadows. In the therapeutic space, Shadow Work can be done using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) treatment modality. The beautiful thing about this modality is how it intertwines with spirituality–if you want to learn about how emotions, karma and the universe can all come into play on a healing journey. 

Internal Family Systems is based on the philosophy that all people function from a system of different parts that come together to make up the whole self. There are 3 major categories of different types of parts to get familiar with. First is your inner child. The inner child is the most vulnerable part, who often holds our deepest wounds and purest innocence. Second, is that of our protector parts. Protector parts develop throughout life to help us cope, from general life stressors to full blown trauma. They often act more as managers on a day to day basis (i.e. anxiety, eating disorders, OCD etc.) or they can be more reactive in times of crisis (self-harm, depression, substance abuse, etc.). These parts develop as an attempt to protect or suppress our inner child when the emotions become too intense. Third, we have the true self. The true self operates using the 8 C’s: compassion, curiosity, calmness, clarity, connectedness, creativity, confidence, and courage. If you’re not feeling these 8 C’s in any given moment, it can be assumed you’re being driven by another part at that time. 

From a spiritual lens, the inner child would be defined as your shadow self, the protector parts are the ego and the true self can be interpreted as your higher self. Should you choose to explore these different parts of yourself (getting in touch with your shadows), it is recommended to take it slow and easy, and ideally, with a trained professional. 

If you dive right into working with your inner child, the protector parts can feel very threatened. They developed to keep the system safe, so it’s essential that they are respected, heard and supported throughout the healing process. That might feel counterintuitive to hear. You might be wondering, “Why should I respect, hear or support my [insert mental health concern of choice].” The IFS philosophy states that there is no such thing as a bad part; they all develop with good intention and help serve the system as a whole even if they go about it in a round-about way. However, to answer your question, I would encourage you to consider how the judgment of your emotions or perceived flaws might be more of an issue than the actual emotion itself. 

If you’re feeling the nudge to get more in tune with your shadows, the first step is to get curious. Sometimes, the hardest part about healing is the lack of self awareness. This is where mindfulness comes in. Notice your judgments or distress and get curious about them. What part of me is this coming from? What might it want me to know? Is this response trying to protect me from something? From there, much more exploration and learning can be done. 

What you can’t see in the shadows can be scary, but if you follow an instinct to be curious about yourself rather than critical, it might not be so scary after all. 

Leah Hovel is a psychotherapist at Elle specializing in mood disorders, eating disorders, and body image issues. Learn more about her and all of our therapists if you or a loved one need help.