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In A World Full of Triggers…Find Your Glimmers

You have probably heard the term “trigger” before. It’s become quite the buzzword, whether in casual conversation or in therapy. But I want to take this opportunity to talk to you about its sister word: glimmer. What’s a glimmer? It’s a cue that signals safety and security. One that creates a sense of internal peace and calm. Think: a deep sigh of relief and contentment.

The term originates from the Polyvagal Theory, which explores the importance of the vagus nerve in emotional regulation, connection, safety, and the establishment of security. For the purposes of this article, I won’t dive into the depths and layers of the Polyvagal theory—that’s for another time. Instead, I would like to highlight the importance of defining your glimmers. 

When triggered, your central nervous system feels the need to self-protect via fight, flight, or freeze—a highly stressful event for the body. Glimmers, on the other hand, stimulate the vagus nerve, which activates your parasympathetic nervous system and produces feelings of calm, safety, and ease. 

You need glimmers to outweigh the emotional and physical burden of triggers because otherwise, the focus will be on things you want to run away from rather than the things you need to run toward. Identifying glimmers gives you a sense of control in a world that prioritizes negative bias. Your ability to remain aware of your glimmers allows you to infuse moments of safety and ease into your day. 

Finding Your Glimmers

Considering the past couple of years—a pandemic, social unrest, environmental disasters, amongst many other things—finding glimmers is a practice that protects your wellbeing. 

For example, the scent of pine trees and river water creates a sense of tranquility in my soul. The smell soothes my insides, my heartbeat slows, and time begins to bend. Nature is rich with glimmers: the sound of bird calls, the sight of beautiful flowers blooming along your path, or the wind rustling the leaves.  

Create a list, a menu per se, of all the things that cultivate a sense of ease for you. Maybe that includes a playlist of your favorite songs or candles that curate a mood of calmness. Clean your social media feeds and news notifications and alter those platforms in order to feel good when interacting with them. Most importantly, start asking the question—is this pleasant for me? Does it benefit me at my core?

Making the Most of Your Glimmers 

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that an abundance of glimmers will downplay the existence of your triggers, but they should certainly help you cope better. Glimmers will undoubtedly create and further your feeling of agency, your personal power to create an experience that is pleasing to you. 

Also, research states that for every “bad”, you need three positives to neutralize the emotional experience of the negative. Therefore, challenge yourself to notice three times as many glimmers in your day. Whether that be the sound of coffee brewing in the morning, the way your pet snuggles into you during the night, or the smell of your partner’s cologne or perfume, start searching for them! Put a reminder in your phone in the morning, afternoon, and evening to witness the things that soothe your soul. I promise you it will shift your overall experience of the day. 

If you’re like me, and you find yourself ending the day acknowledging everything you wish could have gone better, take the next half hour to an hour to experience as many of your glimmers as possible. 

Try everything on the glimmer menu! Let them nurture you. 

Elle offers a wide range of mental health services, if you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed, learn more about these services, and reach out to us to start the conversation.